This post is a little harder to write but there's a very dear reason I want to share a few thoughts today. It is always my intention to write from a positive perspective because we truly believe that life is a journey of blessings. Yet as we all know, life is indeed blessed but sometimes not easy. Today is one of those days...but the blessings involved far outweigh the challenges.
Seven years ago today, my precious Grandmother left this earth for her eternal home. It has not been easy missing her during these years. From my earliest memories, "Grandma Jenny" was a very important part of my life. She never owned a car. She never had a computer. She lived a modest and quiet life. She resided in a small town in the mountains of Virginia. She never went to college. She never held public office. But she is one of the most influential people I have ever known and only on the other side of heaven will we know how many lives she touched in her ninety-one years!
Grandma had a heart that knew no boundaries. She loved everyone she could and tried to treat everyone fairly and respectfully...even those who mistreated her. She had a way of making each individual feel loved, valued, cherished and important. She had a contagious laugh and it was easy to forget that she was decades older than her grandchildren. She was so "young at heart" that she brought life, joy, laughter and enthusiasm to everyone around her. Her memory was amazing. She could describe someone's words, clothes, actions and appearance decades later. She could repeat a conversation verbatum...from many years ago. She would tell me how to cook something without ever looking in a cookbook while I busily wrote down the instructions so I wouldn't forget her words five minutes later! :) (And oh, how she could cook!) Grandma knew what was important. She lived a life of unconditional love, fairness, forgiveness, encouragement, faith, kindness, peace, patience, commitment, family, courage and confidentiality. She never forgot a birthday, anniversary or the birth of her grandchildren...or even the weather that accompanied an eventful day! She told me about living through the Great Depression, hearing about the Titanic as a young child, working hard to provide for her children and assisting a doctor who made house calls to deliver babies! She sang. She played piano. She saw so much in her lifetime. She learned much. She loved much. She taught much. She is missed very much.
I miss visiting her on my lunch hours when I worked at the bank in her town. I miss talking to her on the phone as a child, student...and wife. I miss our slumber parties! I miss the letters we wrote while I was in college! I miss seeing her at Christmas time and wishing her a Happy Birthday in February. I miss the secrets we shared, the laughter we enjoyed, the dreams we had and those late night chats. But she will always have a special place in my heart...and in our family. For when our baby girl is placed into our arms, she will be named "Jenna Elizabeth" and called "JennaBeth"...and one of Grandma Jenny's dreams will finally come true. A short time before she passed away, Grandma commented that of all the grandchildren she had, she had always hoped that one would have her name. I promised her that if another baby girl ever joined our family, she would indeed bear Grandma's name. Little did I realize how soon Grandma would leave this world...and little did we realize that our journey to our baby girl/s would take us halfway around the world years later.
We miss you, Grandma Jenny. We love you so much. Someday we will hold our new baby girl and whisper for the very first time to our Jenna Elizabeth that she is loved dearly and is named after you!! Whenever we speak or hear JennaBeth's name already, I immediately think of your precious life. Oh, how we miss you! Oh, how we miss our baby girl/s! Oh how we long for the day when we will all be together. I can hardly wait for you to meet your namesake, Grandma!
Until then, our hearts ache for our precious Grandma Jenny, (and all our dear Grandparents.) And our hearts ache for our sweet little baby girl/s. But what a joy it is to have known those who came before us in this journey, to enjoy those who walk beside us now and to look forward to those we will soon welcome into our family. Life is indeed a journey of blessings past, present and future. We love, we miss, we cherish and we hope. We are indeed grateful...and blessed.
Cherishing each loved one in our journey,
Terri & Family
Jenna Elizabeth (aka "JennaBeth") Song Lorenz
Waiting For Our Little One To Come Home From China!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Nineteen Months...and Still Moving Forward!
It was nineteen months ago today since we were "Logged In" China's system...and it seems like a very long time. But I am convinced that it is very worth the wait! Of course it would be incredibly wonderful if we could have our little darling/s here with us as the Holidays approach. But we know that isn't going to happen this year...and probably not next year, either. Yet each moment...each day...each week...each month...and each step brings us closer to our sweet baby girl/s. Even when it seems we're sitting still and simply waiting, we are reminded that we are still moving forward!!
Yesterday was a little more challenging for me for some reason. I guess seeing the temperatures fall along with the leaves...and already feeling the pressure of the holiday preparations upon us, I was beginning to get that overwhelmed feeling. Even more so, I just longed to see a picture or even better, HOLD our little girl/s, and see progress "in action." Well, the temperatures still fell along with the leaves. There was no miraculous timing of a referral letter...and we didn't see any pictures of our baby girl/s. But...we were blessed in a surprising way.
While in college, I met a sweet, sweet gal named Yolanda. We sang in concert choir together and shared lots of laughs and life. Who knew that someday she would be blessed with several children, including a precious daughter from China! And who knew that we would be blessed with our children...and while one is in college and the other in high school...we would be waiting for one, (or two, if twins are available), sweet daughter/s from China? Yolanda has been enjoying her sweet baby girl for a while now and "out of the clear blue" she decided to email some pictures to me...yesterday!!! While I "oooohed and ahhhhed" over the pictures, I couldn't help but acknowledge that we were blessed so abundantly again!!! Thank you sooooo much, Yolanda! You touched my heart, my family...and our "Journey of Blessings" in perfect timing. Yolanda also commented "He will bless you, too--in His perfect time." Wow!!!! Perfect words and perfect reminders at the perfect time! How can I ever doubt that God's plan, provision, guidance and timing will be just as incredible in bringing our sweet daughter/s home, as well? Absolutely...positively...we are still moving forward!!!
Thank you for all the prayers, reminders, encouragement and love so many of you share with us along this journey. Thank you for the wonderful ways you touch our lives...as we wait...yet move forward...toward our baby girl/s. Thank you for mentioning our little girls to us. That helps more than you may realize. Thank you for continuing to hope, love, pray and walk beside us every moment. Thank you for "somehow" knowing just when to say the right words when we are missing our sweet little daughter/s so much. And thank you to my precious husband, daughter and son for keeping little "JennaBeth" (and "EmmaKate"?) close in our hearts and home as we wait. It's so neat when we see little Asian girls on tv and we all say "ahhhhhhhh" in unison with tears in our eyes!!! What a joy that is as we wait for our little sweetie/s to join our "forever family!"
The holidays are almost here...and I miss our sweetie/s so much. Nineteen months have now officially passed since "Log In"...and twenty-eight months have passed since we first began this journey! We are definitely still moving forward...and we're closer than ever before! We're never alone. Neither are you. Let's keep moving forward...together!
Cherishing the journey...past, present and future,
Terri and Family
Yesterday was a little more challenging for me for some reason. I guess seeing the temperatures fall along with the leaves...and already feeling the pressure of the holiday preparations upon us, I was beginning to get that overwhelmed feeling. Even more so, I just longed to see a picture or even better, HOLD our little girl/s, and see progress "in action." Well, the temperatures still fell along with the leaves. There was no miraculous timing of a referral letter...and we didn't see any pictures of our baby girl/s. But...we were blessed in a surprising way.
While in college, I met a sweet, sweet gal named Yolanda. We sang in concert choir together and shared lots of laughs and life. Who knew that someday she would be blessed with several children, including a precious daughter from China! And who knew that we would be blessed with our children...and while one is in college and the other in high school...we would be waiting for one, (or two, if twins are available), sweet daughter/s from China? Yolanda has been enjoying her sweet baby girl for a while now and "out of the clear blue" she decided to email some pictures to me...yesterday!!! While I "oooohed and ahhhhed" over the pictures, I couldn't help but acknowledge that we were blessed so abundantly again!!! Thank you sooooo much, Yolanda! You touched my heart, my family...and our "Journey of Blessings" in perfect timing. Yolanda also commented "He will bless you, too--in His perfect time." Wow!!!! Perfect words and perfect reminders at the perfect time! How can I ever doubt that God's plan, provision, guidance and timing will be just as incredible in bringing our sweet daughter/s home, as well? Absolutely...positively...we are still moving forward!!!
Thank you for all the prayers, reminders, encouragement and love so many of you share with us along this journey. Thank you for the wonderful ways you touch our lives...as we wait...yet move forward...toward our baby girl/s. Thank you for mentioning our little girls to us. That helps more than you may realize. Thank you for continuing to hope, love, pray and walk beside us every moment. Thank you for "somehow" knowing just when to say the right words when we are missing our sweet little daughter/s so much. And thank you to my precious husband, daughter and son for keeping little "JennaBeth" (and "EmmaKate"?) close in our hearts and home as we wait. It's so neat when we see little Asian girls on tv and we all say "ahhhhhhhh" in unison with tears in our eyes!!! What a joy that is as we wait for our little sweetie/s to join our "forever family!"
The holidays are almost here...and I miss our sweetie/s so much. Nineteen months have now officially passed since "Log In"...and twenty-eight months have passed since we first began this journey! We are definitely still moving forward...and we're closer than ever before! We're never alone. Neither are you. Let's keep moving forward...together!
Cherishing the journey...past, present and future,
Terri and Family
Monday, November 3, 2008
In the middle of life...
Life has been busy for our family, as usual. But in the middle of it all...we are blessed, grateful, and enjoying each moment in this journey. Our home sometimes seems like "Grand Central Station" but we wouldn't want to miss one moment of this amazing time in our lives.
This weekend was no exception. Our son left Friday morning on a high school band trip. Our daughter came home from college Friday evening. On Saturday morning, Tim and I left for Louisville to attend the band competition while our daughter went to work at the pharmacy. Saturday evening, Tim and I arrived home just before our daughter returned home from work. Meanwhile, our son remained in Louisville with the band. Yesterday began with more trips and errands. During the afternoon, our son arrived back in town with the band. I spent time in the kitchen preparing food for our family and neighbors who are ill....while Tim ran to the store to pick up a few things. We finally had a few hours together as a family...and then our daughter left to return to the university. It was a busy time but we cherished every opportunity we had to be together. It's not always this hectic...but in the middle of the trips, laundry, cooking, packing, unpacking and preparing for this week....we realized we had been given so many blessings.
Not one day passes in the middle of the work, school, home and errands that we don't think about our baby girl/s. Is she, (or they), born yet? How are her birth parents doing during this time in their lives? How are the caregivers who work so diligently to meet the needs of these precious babies? How are all those involved in government offices and adoption agencies doing as they continue to work to bring the children together with their "Forever Families?" How are the other waiting families doing as they continue with paperwork, preparations and "patience-building" during this journey to their babies? What does our little girl look like? What did her day involve? Does she have any idea how very, very loved she is on both sides of the planet? Does she suck her thumb or twist her hair? Does she like music? Is she learning to talk already? Does she realize how many people are praying for her? Even though we have never seen her picture and don't even know her date of birth, we thank God for her every day and our hearts are overflowing with joy and love for her. In the middle of life, our family and our hearts....she is truly with us every moment!
We were indeed reminded recently that the same God who holds our Jenna Elizabeth, ("JennaBeth"), (and maybe our Emma Katherine--"EmmaKate"), in His hands continues to bring us all closer together in His loving and perfect plan. Last Friday our mailman began frantically blowing his horn in front of our house. I was a bit puzzled for we had not ordered anything recently and I couldn't imagine what package would be coming to our home. But I walked out to his car on our street and he handed me a package from a dear friend of ours in Indiana. Once I got inside, I quickly opened the package and found a precious, precious book entitled "On The Night You Were Born." As I sat down and read it, the tears began to fall. Our sweet friend, Joyce, found this book and chose to send it to us for our baby girl/s. The book is adorable and I would highly recommend it to any of you who have children or grandchildren...or just want to read it for yourselves! (And that comes from my personal Mom, counselor and teacher perspectives!) Thank you, Joyce, for allowing God to work through you to remind us that the birth of our little daughter/s is still being witnessed, orchestrated and blessed by our wonderful Heavenly Father. Although we are not present for her birth, our baby is still in the most loving and capable hands we could ever imagine! I can hardly wait to read it to our little sweetie/s. Our 20 year old daughter read it aloud this weekend and we were both teary-eyed when she finished! I think I'll even read it to our almost 17 year old son soon, too! It touches us all as we remember that we are created and brought into this world with an incredible design and purpose! Wow!!
So in the middle of life's busy schedules, demands, noises and concerns, please remember that life is indeed a precious gift. You are not alone, dear ones. Our baby girl/s are not alone. Our family is not alone. You have been given this gift of life for an incredible purpose and you are special! You are special to Him...and you are special to us! Our thoughts and prayers continue for each of you as we walk together in this journey of blessings!
Cherishing life,
Terri & Family
This weekend was no exception. Our son left Friday morning on a high school band trip. Our daughter came home from college Friday evening. On Saturday morning, Tim and I left for Louisville to attend the band competition while our daughter went to work at the pharmacy. Saturday evening, Tim and I arrived home just before our daughter returned home from work. Meanwhile, our son remained in Louisville with the band. Yesterday began with more trips and errands. During the afternoon, our son arrived back in town with the band. I spent time in the kitchen preparing food for our family and neighbors who are ill....while Tim ran to the store to pick up a few things. We finally had a few hours together as a family...and then our daughter left to return to the university. It was a busy time but we cherished every opportunity we had to be together. It's not always this hectic...but in the middle of the trips, laundry, cooking, packing, unpacking and preparing for this week....we realized we had been given so many blessings.
Not one day passes in the middle of the work, school, home and errands that we don't think about our baby girl/s. Is she, (or they), born yet? How are her birth parents doing during this time in their lives? How are the caregivers who work so diligently to meet the needs of these precious babies? How are all those involved in government offices and adoption agencies doing as they continue to work to bring the children together with their "Forever Families?" How are the other waiting families doing as they continue with paperwork, preparations and "patience-building" during this journey to their babies? What does our little girl look like? What did her day involve? Does she have any idea how very, very loved she is on both sides of the planet? Does she suck her thumb or twist her hair? Does she like music? Is she learning to talk already? Does she realize how many people are praying for her? Even though we have never seen her picture and don't even know her date of birth, we thank God for her every day and our hearts are overflowing with joy and love for her. In the middle of life, our family and our hearts....she is truly with us every moment!
We were indeed reminded recently that the same God who holds our Jenna Elizabeth, ("JennaBeth"), (and maybe our Emma Katherine--"EmmaKate"), in His hands continues to bring us all closer together in His loving and perfect plan. Last Friday our mailman began frantically blowing his horn in front of our house. I was a bit puzzled for we had not ordered anything recently and I couldn't imagine what package would be coming to our home. But I walked out to his car on our street and he handed me a package from a dear friend of ours in Indiana. Once I got inside, I quickly opened the package and found a precious, precious book entitled "On The Night You Were Born." As I sat down and read it, the tears began to fall. Our sweet friend, Joyce, found this book and chose to send it to us for our baby girl/s. The book is adorable and I would highly recommend it to any of you who have children or grandchildren...or just want to read it for yourselves! (And that comes from my personal Mom, counselor and teacher perspectives!) Thank you, Joyce, for allowing God to work through you to remind us that the birth of our little daughter/s is still being witnessed, orchestrated and blessed by our wonderful Heavenly Father. Although we are not present for her birth, our baby is still in the most loving and capable hands we could ever imagine! I can hardly wait to read it to our little sweetie/s. Our 20 year old daughter read it aloud this weekend and we were both teary-eyed when she finished! I think I'll even read it to our almost 17 year old son soon, too! It touches us all as we remember that we are created and brought into this world with an incredible design and purpose! Wow!!
So in the middle of life's busy schedules, demands, noises and concerns, please remember that life is indeed a precious gift. You are not alone, dear ones. Our baby girl/s are not alone. Our family is not alone. You have been given this gift of life for an incredible purpose and you are special! You are special to Him...and you are special to us! Our thoughts and prayers continue for each of you as we walk together in this journey of blessings!
Cherishing life,
Terri & Family
Monday, October 20, 2008
As the Seasons Change...
The year is passing so very quickly in many ways...except for the journey to our baby girl/s, that is. :) But we continue to count our blessings and remember that each day brings us a step closer to bringing our sweetie/s home. So we wait...and soak in the blessings along the way.
Last week, Tim and I took a couple trips to visit our daughter in college. As parents, it only takes one call to hear "Mom, I need..." and we're figuring out a way to get there. It was so worth it in many ways. One unexpected joy in those trips was driving on the country and interstate roads and seeing the fall colors lavishly dancing along the way. The gold, orange, red and even taupe hues were abundant as we made our journey. It was breathtaking to see how perfectly placed these colors, hillsides, foliage and woodlands were presented to remind us that another season has arrived.
Quite honestly, autumn is not my most favorite time of year. I love spring and summer's warm and colorful palettes even more. But fall is a beautiful time of year...especially after the weeds have retreated! :) Autumn is a great time of year for me, though. Our firstborn child arrived in the fall. I love the sound of bands playing and football crowds roaring in the stands. I enjoy the crisp air teasing us and inviting us to new menus of soup, pumpkin pie and hot tea or apple cider. I enjoy watching folks come and go as the nip of fall brings natural blushes to their faces. I suppose my greatest concern about fall, though, is that winter soon follows. And as beautiful and exciting as winter can be, I am always concerned about loved ones dealing with slick roads, ice storms and cold, cold temperatures.
Yet our scenic drives last week reminded me once more of the beauty of changing seasons. Each one has its own beauty. Each one has a purpose. Each one prepares for the next season, as well. And even when we can't see it all happening before us, it is a constant cycle of change to be enjoyed and appreciated. That's a bit like life, isn't it? As Tim and I strolled along our alma mater's campus, it was hard to believe that we had been students there decades ago! It sure doesn't seem that long but that was an earlier season in our life. Then we had the season of parenting little ones and we believed that the next eighteen years were going to be a much longer time frame. Yet we turned around all too soon to realize that our children are no longer little ones. Both are driving. She is in college and is a young adult. He is in high school and is a teenager. How quickly it has gone! The seasons have been purposeful and passed more quickly than we ever anticipated. Yet we wouldn't trade one single day of those seasons for anything. Each season was an incredible blessing in its own way as it led to another wonderful and blessed season in the journey of life as a family.
The journey to our baby girl/s is not that different. We've been walking along this road for over two years. We have been logged in now for eighteen months. And as challenging as it is to wait, each season of our journey to our sweetie/s is precious. Once again, I am reminded of the words of several friends who have encouraged us in this journey. One said "God's timing is always right." So we must trust that the waiting continues until the time God designed for us to meet our little one/s. Another said "God has a master plan." If He can plan the perfect and beautiful seasons of spring, summer, autumn and winter, I'm sure He's capable of planning our journey to our little daughter/s. Another friend said "When they place her in your arms, it all makes sense." We believe that is worth waiting for!! Some seasons are a bit more exciting and some seasons are a bit more challenging. But each one has its reason and its beauty in our journey.
So we continue to walk, pray, love, hope and enjoy each step...and each season. Whether we are in the season of paperwork, rest, dreaming, more paperwork, uncertainty or celebrating each milestone along the way...we are grateful. We are blessed. We are thrilled. And we are never alone. Thank you for walking beside us each moment. May you be blessed in each of your journeys...and seasons, as well!
Cherishing each season,
Terri and family
Last week, Tim and I took a couple trips to visit our daughter in college. As parents, it only takes one call to hear "Mom, I need..." and we're figuring out a way to get there. It was so worth it in many ways. One unexpected joy in those trips was driving on the country and interstate roads and seeing the fall colors lavishly dancing along the way. The gold, orange, red and even taupe hues were abundant as we made our journey. It was breathtaking to see how perfectly placed these colors, hillsides, foliage and woodlands were presented to remind us that another season has arrived.
Quite honestly, autumn is not my most favorite time of year. I love spring and summer's warm and colorful palettes even more. But fall is a beautiful time of year...especially after the weeds have retreated! :) Autumn is a great time of year for me, though. Our firstborn child arrived in the fall. I love the sound of bands playing and football crowds roaring in the stands. I enjoy the crisp air teasing us and inviting us to new menus of soup, pumpkin pie and hot tea or apple cider. I enjoy watching folks come and go as the nip of fall brings natural blushes to their faces. I suppose my greatest concern about fall, though, is that winter soon follows. And as beautiful and exciting as winter can be, I am always concerned about loved ones dealing with slick roads, ice storms and cold, cold temperatures.
Yet our scenic drives last week reminded me once more of the beauty of changing seasons. Each one has its own beauty. Each one has a purpose. Each one prepares for the next season, as well. And even when we can't see it all happening before us, it is a constant cycle of change to be enjoyed and appreciated. That's a bit like life, isn't it? As Tim and I strolled along our alma mater's campus, it was hard to believe that we had been students there decades ago! It sure doesn't seem that long but that was an earlier season in our life. Then we had the season of parenting little ones and we believed that the next eighteen years were going to be a much longer time frame. Yet we turned around all too soon to realize that our children are no longer little ones. Both are driving. She is in college and is a young adult. He is in high school and is a teenager. How quickly it has gone! The seasons have been purposeful and passed more quickly than we ever anticipated. Yet we wouldn't trade one single day of those seasons for anything. Each season was an incredible blessing in its own way as it led to another wonderful and blessed season in the journey of life as a family.
The journey to our baby girl/s is not that different. We've been walking along this road for over two years. We have been logged in now for eighteen months. And as challenging as it is to wait, each season of our journey to our sweetie/s is precious. Once again, I am reminded of the words of several friends who have encouraged us in this journey. One said "God's timing is always right." So we must trust that the waiting continues until the time God designed for us to meet our little one/s. Another said "God has a master plan." If He can plan the perfect and beautiful seasons of spring, summer, autumn and winter, I'm sure He's capable of planning our journey to our little daughter/s. Another friend said "When they place her in your arms, it all makes sense." We believe that is worth waiting for!! Some seasons are a bit more exciting and some seasons are a bit more challenging. But each one has its reason and its beauty in our journey.
So we continue to walk, pray, love, hope and enjoy each step...and each season. Whether we are in the season of paperwork, rest, dreaming, more paperwork, uncertainty or celebrating each milestone along the way...we are grateful. We are blessed. We are thrilled. And we are never alone. Thank you for walking beside us each moment. May you be blessed in each of your journeys...and seasons, as well!
Cherishing each season,
Terri and family
Sunday, October 5, 2008
In Our Hearts While We're Apart...
Being a parent is the highest calling in my life. It brings the greatest joys while also pulling on my heart in the deepest capacities I've ever known. To love my children more than life itself means that my entire world has changed with motherhood. Of course, I still have personal dreams, goals and individuality...to some degree. :) But I would trade it all in a moment...for my children. Today is no exception.
Our daughter just drove off to return to the university campus. It was a special weekend for we celebrated her birthday a little early. Tomorrow will be the first official birthday we will spend "apart" and yet I knew it would someday happen. But my heart throbs for who knew that the years would pass so very quickly? Who knew that the little baby girl I held for the first time twenty years ago would grow up so rapidly and move on to college while we see less and less of her at home? We will wait by the phone until we know she is back on campus safely...and we'll miss her terribly every moment yet rejoice in her endeavors, her life and her purpose. And each phone call, text message, email or word from her will be held in our hearts as we love her yet watch her soar as a young adult.
Our son just drove away for a quick trip to the store. He will return in just a little while and I will breathe a sigh of relief that he is safely back home. Yet all too soon, he will also drive off to college in another year or two...and we'll once again adjust to the shocking reality that our babies have become adults and our parenting roles have changed dramatically. It seems like only yesterday they were both in car seats anticipating the newest kid's meal toys as we made our Friday night trips to the local burger drive-through. One night I specifically remember them telling me what they wanted to be "when they grow up" and we spent a few minutes dreaming of all their options. Our daughter eventually stopped and said "Mommy, what do you want to do when you grow up? What do you dream about doing?" Without any hesitation, I responded "I'm living my dream, sweetie. It just doesn't get any better than this! I'm living it right now."
Now as one drives back to the university and one drives to the store, I think about how we've given them roots...and are learning to give them wings. I realize that my heart never ceases to learn new depths of loving them. I'm learning to love them when they're near and love them in my heart when we're apart. It's not easy...but it's a new step in our journey of life.
We are also in a season of life where we love another precious child who has not quite yet made it home for the first time. Instead of loving her at home and then loving her from a distance, we have loved her from a distance originally and long to bring her home more each day. We know our little Jenna Elizabeth ("JennaBeth")...and possibly our Emma Katherine ("EmmaKate")...live far away in miles. But our hearts certainly hold a very deep love for our baby girl/s that cannot be shaken by time or distance. So we wait...and we love...and we pray...and we learn more and more about parenting whether our children are in our arms...or in our hearts while we're apart. Nothing can separate us from the love we hold for each of them!
So happy birthday, Rachel. And drive home safely, Micah. And hold on, baby girl/s, as we wait for the day we meet you for the very first time and bring you home. May all of you remember that you're never alone and you're never without our love...in our arms...or in our hearts while we're apart! I love you always....Mom.
Cherishing the journey of parenthood,
Terri
Our daughter just drove off to return to the university campus. It was a special weekend for we celebrated her birthday a little early. Tomorrow will be the first official birthday we will spend "apart" and yet I knew it would someday happen. But my heart throbs for who knew that the years would pass so very quickly? Who knew that the little baby girl I held for the first time twenty years ago would grow up so rapidly and move on to college while we see less and less of her at home? We will wait by the phone until we know she is back on campus safely...and we'll miss her terribly every moment yet rejoice in her endeavors, her life and her purpose. And each phone call, text message, email or word from her will be held in our hearts as we love her yet watch her soar as a young adult.
Our son just drove away for a quick trip to the store. He will return in just a little while and I will breathe a sigh of relief that he is safely back home. Yet all too soon, he will also drive off to college in another year or two...and we'll once again adjust to the shocking reality that our babies have become adults and our parenting roles have changed dramatically. It seems like only yesterday they were both in car seats anticipating the newest kid's meal toys as we made our Friday night trips to the local burger drive-through. One night I specifically remember them telling me what they wanted to be "when they grow up" and we spent a few minutes dreaming of all their options. Our daughter eventually stopped and said "Mommy, what do you want to do when you grow up? What do you dream about doing?" Without any hesitation, I responded "I'm living my dream, sweetie. It just doesn't get any better than this! I'm living it right now."
Now as one drives back to the university and one drives to the store, I think about how we've given them roots...and are learning to give them wings. I realize that my heart never ceases to learn new depths of loving them. I'm learning to love them when they're near and love them in my heart when we're apart. It's not easy...but it's a new step in our journey of life.
We are also in a season of life where we love another precious child who has not quite yet made it home for the first time. Instead of loving her at home and then loving her from a distance, we have loved her from a distance originally and long to bring her home more each day. We know our little Jenna Elizabeth ("JennaBeth")...and possibly our Emma Katherine ("EmmaKate")...live far away in miles. But our hearts certainly hold a very deep love for our baby girl/s that cannot be shaken by time or distance. So we wait...and we love...and we pray...and we learn more and more about parenting whether our children are in our arms...or in our hearts while we're apart. Nothing can separate us from the love we hold for each of them!
So happy birthday, Rachel. And drive home safely, Micah. And hold on, baby girl/s, as we wait for the day we meet you for the very first time and bring you home. May all of you remember that you're never alone and you're never without our love...in our arms...or in our hearts while we're apart! I love you always....Mom.
Cherishing the journey of parenthood,
Terri
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Seventeen months...and waiting? That's ok!
There's nothing new to tell in our journey of waiting except that we have now been logged into the CCAA (China Center Adoption Affairs) for over seventeen months. Our journey actually began in July of 2006 when we first applied as adoptive parents with the adoption agency. But the "waiting ticket" becomes the Log-in Date (L.I.D.) and that's what we continue to do. We have been "officially updated" in the system with USCIS (Homeland Security) this summer and again, we wait. But that's ok.
All along, we knew that the road would be uncertain in many ways. We knew we would have no control over the timeframe involved. We knew it was totally out of our hands as to when we would hold our baby girl/s in our arms. In fact, when we first began, the wait was around 18 months. Now it's close to 30. But that's ok.
We have recently been informed that the referral rate has increased, which is good news. What this means is that recently, each month would only produce around 3 L.I.D. days of referrals. It has now increased to nine days. And that's very ok! :)
Does this mean that the wait is easy? Absolutely not. Does this mean that we dream any less of the moment the nanny hands us our daughter? No way. Does this mean that we sometimes wonder if we'll be in our 90s when we begin raising our daughter? :) Not really. (Think Abraham and Sarah!) Does this mean we are learning all about faith and trusting that it will all happen at just the right time and in just the right way with just the right baby girl/s? Definitely!
Of course we would love to have our baby girl home with us right now. But it's even more important to follow the plan of the One who initially brought us into this journey. He is in control. We are not. He knows what is best. We do not. He moved our hearts to this blessed opportunity and He will bring His baby girl/s into our family in His very special and selected moment. And that's incredibly ok!
So we wait, pray, love and learn about faith, God, dreams and the journey of blessings we travel. We learn about ourselves and what He has in store each new day. We learn about others, about life, about what's really important...and what's not. We learn about making choices that serve Him and not ourselves. We learn about placing our trust, our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our family and our baby girl/s...in His hands. After all, He's already holding them there!
Sometimes people ask us if we're ready to "start all over again" as parents. There's an easy answer to that question. We never finished! Being a Mom and Dad to our children has been the highest calling in our lives so far and that won't stop...no matter how old they are...or how long it takes to bring the youngest one/s home. So we live, love, laugh and learn today...and leave the tomorrows in His hands. Yes...we're still waiting...and that's ok!
Thank you for your continued prayers for our family, our journey and our baby girl/s!
Cherishing the journey and waiting on Him,
Terri and family
All along, we knew that the road would be uncertain in many ways. We knew we would have no control over the timeframe involved. We knew it was totally out of our hands as to when we would hold our baby girl/s in our arms. In fact, when we first began, the wait was around 18 months. Now it's close to 30. But that's ok.
We have recently been informed that the referral rate has increased, which is good news. What this means is that recently, each month would only produce around 3 L.I.D. days of referrals. It has now increased to nine days. And that's very ok! :)
Does this mean that the wait is easy? Absolutely not. Does this mean that we dream any less of the moment the nanny hands us our daughter? No way. Does this mean that we sometimes wonder if we'll be in our 90s when we begin raising our daughter? :) Not really. (Think Abraham and Sarah!) Does this mean we are learning all about faith and trusting that it will all happen at just the right time and in just the right way with just the right baby girl/s? Definitely!
Of course we would love to have our baby girl home with us right now. But it's even more important to follow the plan of the One who initially brought us into this journey. He is in control. We are not. He knows what is best. We do not. He moved our hearts to this blessed opportunity and He will bring His baby girl/s into our family in His very special and selected moment. And that's incredibly ok!
So we wait, pray, love and learn about faith, God, dreams and the journey of blessings we travel. We learn about ourselves and what He has in store each new day. We learn about others, about life, about what's really important...and what's not. We learn about making choices that serve Him and not ourselves. We learn about placing our trust, our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our family and our baby girl/s...in His hands. After all, He's already holding them there!
Sometimes people ask us if we're ready to "start all over again" as parents. There's an easy answer to that question. We never finished! Being a Mom and Dad to our children has been the highest calling in our lives so far and that won't stop...no matter how old they are...or how long it takes to bring the youngest one/s home. So we live, love, laugh and learn today...and leave the tomorrows in His hands. Yes...we're still waiting...and that's ok!
Thank you for your continued prayers for our family, our journey and our baby girl/s!
Cherishing the journey and waiting on Him,
Terri and family
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Weekend With Family
We spent some time last weekend attending family reunions...two within twenty-four hours, actually! It kept us busy but it repeatedly reminded me of the importance of family. We traveled to Virginia on Saturday to enjoy our annual Labor Day weekend cookout. This involves my parents, my four brothers, their families and my family. There was an abundance of food, laughter and reminiscing...and of course, taking pictures to capture the moments.
On Sunday afternoon, we visited with my Dad's siblings and their families. How interesting it was to see aunts, uncles and cousins I had not seen for over twenty years. Yet when we were together, we immediately reconnected, reminisced and...you guessed it...took pictures to capture the moments.
Family is a blessing in itself. We may not get to see one another often due to distance, schedules, etc.. We may even live different lives, have different tastes, make different choices and have different goals. Yet we're still family. As I observed the exciting ways my own family, my original family and my extended family have grown...I couldn't help but think about the exciting moments ahead with our baby girl/s. She wasn't in our physical presence last weekend but she was definitely in our hearts, thoughts and lives. She may or may not be born yet...but she lives in our hopes, dreams, prayers and journey. I look so forward to the day we hold her in our arms and welcome her to our "Forever Family." I think about her learning to say Daddy and Momma, Rachel and Micah. I dream about her learning all her Grandparents', uncles, aunts and cousins' names. (That may take awhile!) I imagine what it will be like for her to meet all our friends in our community, our church and our hometowns. I imagine sharing her with our adoption community as she learns how dreams do come true for so many children and parents. And I dream about her realizing how deeply she is loved on this earth and in Heaven. I want her to really understand what "Family" means for it influences our lives forever.
So to all of you walking along this journey with us, thank you for being a special part of our family, too. As my brother, Dana, shared with me last weekend that he checks our website regularly, I was reminded that we are indeed blessed by the family members and friends who consistently read and pray about our journey to our baby daughter/s. We thank God for all of you. Our family has been touched forever by so many kind people. I pray your lives are blessed as deeply as you have blessed our lives so far.
Our family loves you, JennaBeth (and EmmaKate?)! Come home soon, sweet baby girl/s.
Cherishing family, friends and the journey,
Terri and family
On Sunday afternoon, we visited with my Dad's siblings and their families. How interesting it was to see aunts, uncles and cousins I had not seen for over twenty years. Yet when we were together, we immediately reconnected, reminisced and...you guessed it...took pictures to capture the moments.
Family is a blessing in itself. We may not get to see one another often due to distance, schedules, etc.. We may even live different lives, have different tastes, make different choices and have different goals. Yet we're still family. As I observed the exciting ways my own family, my original family and my extended family have grown...I couldn't help but think about the exciting moments ahead with our baby girl/s. She wasn't in our physical presence last weekend but she was definitely in our hearts, thoughts and lives. She may or may not be born yet...but she lives in our hopes, dreams, prayers and journey. I look so forward to the day we hold her in our arms and welcome her to our "Forever Family." I think about her learning to say Daddy and Momma, Rachel and Micah. I dream about her learning all her Grandparents', uncles, aunts and cousins' names. (That may take awhile!) I imagine what it will be like for her to meet all our friends in our community, our church and our hometowns. I imagine sharing her with our adoption community as she learns how dreams do come true for so many children and parents. And I dream about her realizing how deeply she is loved on this earth and in Heaven. I want her to really understand what "Family" means for it influences our lives forever.
So to all of you walking along this journey with us, thank you for being a special part of our family, too. As my brother, Dana, shared with me last weekend that he checks our website regularly, I was reminded that we are indeed blessed by the family members and friends who consistently read and pray about our journey to our baby daughter/s. We thank God for all of you. Our family has been touched forever by so many kind people. I pray your lives are blessed as deeply as you have blessed our lives so far.
Our family loves you, JennaBeth (and EmmaKate?)! Come home soon, sweet baby girl/s.
Cherishing family, friends and the journey,
Terri and family
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